Well, Blaugust is coming to an end soon but not soon enough it seems. My interest has been waning quite a bit lately, enough that I’ve missed two days this week but it still feels like I made a decent go of it. that I achieved something for myself even if it wasn’t exactly what I aimed to do.
The youtube is probably the main reason I’ve missed those days, and slowed down on the blogging. I have been focusing on creating that content a lot more and all the rendering, and image stuff that goes with it. It doesn’t take as much time anymore but it still takes energy away from other areas. Another weird issue it creates is how it now spreads me across multiple games over a long period of time.
I have always been the kind of gamer that focuses on one game at to the exception of all else. All my time, effort and attention goes towards them until I deem myself finished and then I move onto the next game. Sometimes this process takes a weeknd, others a month or more. Starbound was my recent obsession and I played that without much of anything else for 3 weeks. Overwatch before that sucked up a huge amount of hours as well and there was nothing at all to break that focus.
It’s good for me I’m able to fully understand, practice, and well… get better at that single game and I like that. I like being better at the game I’m playing. Now, with my focus spread and my daily practice basically going to waste in time for the next play session I’m making a lot more mistakes than I normally would. I learn far less than I would normally and I feel so much more incompetent at it all. I rather hate that feeling.
In darkest dungeon I forget basic facts about the various areas and monsters that would obviously come in handy. I haven’t bothered to learn many of the finer details that I normally would either and this has probably resulted in a far rougher experience than I normally would have had. Crossroad as well has faced similar issues as I haven’t had that continuous play to really refine my combat potential. i even failed that first duel against the green haired moron – and that rather irritated me. it was a hard fight so I’m, not sure if I even would have won but I know I would have done better otherwise.
And then there is wondering how to fit other games into this schedule. It might sound weird but once I’ve played one game and finished up for the night I don’t really feel like playing anything different afterwards. My nights end up being one of my main let’s play titles for an hour, and then afterwards I don’t feel like much else. Some days I have a break for them which is nice and I cram in my one other main game (deus Ex atm) but there doesn’t feel like enough time to really get engaged with it.
I also don’t feel like I’m progressing fast enough in well… anything and that seems to be one of the main things that really sustains my interest in games. I enjoy making that progress. Getting better gear, going through the story and generally progressing further and further through the game and without that I really con’t feel as strongly towards any of them. I’m still having fun.. but less fun. I’m still engaged, but less engaged.
I’m not sure if I like it or how to alleviate that feeling.